~The IHL Chronicles~

[XeL]

And so it begun...

The path leading to the asylum was crooked and muddy. The once highly active route now looked forsaken, much like the scattered memory of a discarded gravestone.

He'd been dreading the visit for a long time now.

Would he even be able to look him in the face?

The old sign of the hospital had been painted over, but it was still clear: IHL Mental Institution.

It had been painted over with the words: IHL Institution For the Differently Sane. The political correctness plague had struck the hospital, just as it had everything else.

m1G1 cracked out a short, bitter laughter. 'IHL...' he said, and shrugged.

The building was surrounded by a beautiful orchard, which radiated a light of serenity. The building itself looked clean from the outside. The brick fa�ade was still intact and there were no signs of damages.

m1G1 grabbed the handle to the front door. A squeeky voice haltered him. 'Hold your horses, what do you think you're doing?'

m1G1 spun around. What he saw was not a pretty sight. The man was short... Heck, he was even shorter than m1G1 himself! He was wearing a worn out striped suit with a bow-tie. His bald head caused the sun to reflect and blinded m1G1 for a second. His peculiar face structure strongly gave the impression of an old, cranky, aggressive horse. m1G1 could not quite figure out why, but the man's uni-brow only seemed to strengthen m1G1's impression.

'Whattcha doin' here?' the man chriped.

m1G1 scanned him from top to toe. He had a name tag attched to his coat. The card was stained with what appeared to be blood. m1G1 focused his gaze. 'Monias' he read.

Monias was one of the old caretakers of the asylum. He had been working there for god knows how long. Ever since his two most prized possessions, his kittens - Snowball and Jeremy - got brutally killed by a rabid fox, he decided to devote his life to this asylum. It was his home and he would not let anyone take that away from him.

'I'm here to see... Umm... Blister...' The last word turned into a faint whisper, only to be perished by the wind.

'WHO?!' Monias cried out.

m1G1's lip was trembling.

'...Blister' he repeated, with slightly more confidence.

'Very well, follow me' Monias said, and limped away. After the death of his two kittens, Monias had been on a hunt for the fox that committed this atrocity. He had been searching for weeks, without any success. One sunny afternoon the fox appeared, seemingly out of nowhere! Monias had eagerly grabbed his rifle but as he was trying to sneak closer, a root caught his foot and made him trip. The fox was never to be seen again. The doctors had told Monias that his leg would never heal entirely. Monias then simply decided that it was time to leave the past and start off again with a brand new name.

Monias walked through the entrance. m1G1 got shocked. The inside of the building looked nothing like he had expected it. The impending stench of urin and insanity made m1G1 feel sick.

You see, m1G1 was brought up in an fancy upper class family in Finland... Rarely had he seen such an awful place. He was struck by an immediate consternation.

Monias must've noticed his distaste and frowned. 'The entrence is only a few steps behind, I'm not going to stop you'.

The foyer was tidy and clean and sterile. The receptionist smiled at m1G1.

'How may I help you, sir?' she said, typing a meaningless stream of letters onto her keyboard as to look busy and official.

'I'm here to see... Blister' he said, and added with a wink; 'But not the kind of blisters that you get on your feet" The receptionist did not seem to find it amusing. He winked again, just in case.

m1G1 leant forward. 'It was a joke, you see,' he said. 'Referring to the name of the patient in relation to friction wounds on your skin... You know, as in blis-'

The receptionist grinned. She was used to mad people.

Women had never been m1G1's fort�.

She put on her glasses and got out of her booth. 'This way, sir' she said.

She lead m1G1 through a seemingly endless hallway. The hallway was dimly illuminated and the vague light from the malfunctioning fluorescent lamps casted shadows on the bare walls.

m1G1's heart was racing. He was finally there... There was no pussying out now.

'Here we are' she said. She had stopped in front of a giant door, made out of pure chrome steel. She grinned.

'I'll leave you here" she said and slided away through the hallway. She suddenly stopped and said with a smile: 'Oh and if he gets too violent, just hit the red button, it's located on your right hand side, just inside the room'.

m1G1 swallowed.

He grabbed the handle, hesitated, and then finally opened it. The door slided up with a creak. The room was pitch black but the dim light from the hallway streamed into the room and gave light to the outlines of a figure in the back of the room.

m1G1 could now clearly hear his own heartbeats...

To be continued...

And yes, I was bored. :P

[XeL]

Anything to make your day at work a little less distressing, honey =)

---------- Post added at 11:46 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:51 AM ----------

m1G1 discreetly approached the figure in the back of the room. His heart was about to leap out of his chest.

The creature in the dark snarled and made m1G1 cringe in fear.

The creature in the dark spoke in a raspy voice: 'Wer... bist...du...?'

'It's me, m1G1... from IHL'

'...The light switch...' said the creature.

'Huh?'

'THE LIGHT SWITCH, DU SCHWULE' the creature suddenly bursted out.

m1G1 cringed. He fumbled with his fingers along the wall until he found the light switch. He took a deep breath and prepared himself. He wasn't sure what to expect. What could possibly have turned this bright young german man into such a savage? His determination overcame his fears, he hit the switch.

What unfolded from the darkness was beyond ugly. This vile, grotesque, skinny, fiendish-looking creature was indeed Blister. His skin was teared apart, his eye's were bloodshot, his once proud posture had turned into complete nothingness. m1G1 could not believe his eyes, but he did recognize his voice. That sexy, raspy, robotic german accent could not belong to anyone else.



Visual Aid 1.0

'MOTHER OF GOD' m1G1 cried out. He nearly vomitted.

'It's been a while' said Blister as he approached m1G1 with a big smile on his monstrous face.

m1G1 was paralyzed with fear, he couldn't bring himself to say a word.

Blister noticed his reaction and fed off of his feelings of dread.

'Have a seat' Blister hissed with a grin on his face. He pointed on a chair.

m1G1 tried to bring himself together. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. He open his eyes and scanned the room.

The room was small and gloomy. There were no windows. On his right hand side there was a small bed. The sheets had been torn apart and there were bloodstains on them. In the middle of the room there was a small desk, on top of it was nothing but a laptop. The light of the screen illuminated the back wall of the room.

m1G1 staggered back in detest. Words could not describe his feeling of disgust.

The walls were covered with photos... Photos of Blister and another man engaging in various kinds of sexual activities. m1G1 immediately recognized the other man in the photos. it was Raa-Key-Yaah, one his old co-workers.

Raa-Key-Yaah had suffered from a severe case of inferiority complex and had forcefully been removed from his position in the IHL staff due to this mental trauma. m1G1 had told Raa-Key-Yaah that it was for the greater good, but he had been responded to with profanities and grave insults.

After Raa-Key-Yaah's demotion noone heard from him. Some said he moved out into the tundra of Russia to live as a hermit. Others said he tried to become a professional body builder. Some even said that he devoted his life to serve the lord. The rumours were many.

At this point, little did m1G1 really know about the true nature of Raa-Key-Yaah.

'Have a seat' Blister repeated.

m1G1 snapped out of his daydreaming and sat down on a wobbly wooden chair.

m1G1 caught a glimpse of Blister's computer. He pretended not to notice the white stains on the keyboard.

Blister sat down uncomfortably close to m1G1, grinned an evil grin and put his boney arm around m1G1's shoulder, and then spoke in a creepy tone; 'So, what brings you here mein Freund?'

Chills ran down m1G1's spine.

He realized he had to be honest and very straight to the point. He took a deep breath.

To be continued...

[m1G1]

Tis gettin even better, hahahhaha! visual aid for m1G1:

[XeL]

I don't know whether I should laugh or cry, but that picture is amazing.

[Lagoon]

i would so buy this !

cant wait for the rest

i hope more people get involved :P i see blister/raa have not replied/noticed yet

[XeL]

I'm glad you like it! I'll write the next entry tonight.

[RaA-KeY-YahH]

I'm... flattered? O.o

[XeL]

You should be, you're in my masterpiece.

Nah, seriously, this is pretty crappy compared to what I could write if I actually put some effort into it :P

But hey, at least some of you guys enjoy it, right? =)

I enjoy writing it at least :3

[m1G1]

Axel you bob! Where's my sequel?!?!?! sob... sob...

[Bli5teR]

But not the kind of blisters that you get on your feet

WHahaah xD, good one idd.

btw, where the fuck did u get my picture?! )=

yeah cmon write faster bitch, and btw stronk german there^^

u read a bit too much harry potter, dark lord and so on ..

(if its possible, i would rly like to know what happened, b4 i became so cool as i am in ur story)

peace

[XeL]

m1G1 felt the drama present.

'I'm rebuilding IHL' m1G1 said, with a look of determination on his face.

Blister leapt out of his chair and curled up on the floor where he remained. His whole body was shaking. One could easily tell that he was filled with both rage and confusion.

A silence arised in the room. The lightbulb flickered. The silence remained for three minutes. Those were possibly the longest three minutes of m1G1's fancy-ass Finnish life. Eventually he cleared his throat and spoke:

'I'm in desperate need of your expertise... You see, ever since Souwle-'

Blister interrupted him and cried out in a terrible roar of agony: 'SOUWLEYYYYYYYYE..... That man... turned me into what I am today'

Blister got up from the floor and started walking around impatiently. His posture was so bad that the in the general consensus it wouldn't even be referred to as walking. He was basically down on all four. While pacing about he kept his stare fixed on m1G1 all the time, and his loud panting created a threatening atmosphere. m1G1 started to get nervous.

'That...Schleimer...Souwleye...HE RUINED MY LIFE!' he cried out while flapping his crippled arms dramatically.

His overexertion to speak loudly caused him to start coughing. He lost his foothold and fell to the ground. For a moment m1G1 thought he was going top drop dead, but this was not the case! Suddenly the coughings slowly started shifting into a creepy laughter.

'mwaehehehhhhhheeeeee'

'I will not have it... I won't let this happen...' he said, pounding his fists repeatedly against the floor.

m1G1's legs were getting more wet, and it was not from sweat, mind you.

Suddenly Blister got up from the floor. His eyes, filled with contempt, burning with the intensity of ten white suns.

'I WILL NOT HAVE IT!'

He launched himself towards m1G1 while uttering a roar that would frighten a legion of 10 000 brave men.

m1G1 was just one man, with two balls... Well, define two.

He tried to strafe but it was too late. Blister had already gotten a good hold of his throat. Anger filled him with great power, and you could tell by the sudden change of strength in his calcium deprived boney fingers.

m1G1 started gasping for air. Was this the end? He tried to pull Blister away from him, but to no avail. Fear and helplessness absorbed his last bit energy to the very core.

He saw the burning eyes of Blister, the broken lamp, the holes in the wooden ceiling... Then it all faded out into complete darkness... Was this it? He could still feel his heart pounding.

...Silence, darkness, silence.... More silence...darkness, it almosts feels like the author of this crap is using this whole sentence as a filling, doesn't it? ...Ahem, anyway.

Suddenly m1G1 heard a loud bang! There was a brief transition taking place in front of his eyes and then the most beautiful landscape formed.

At first it was just a a bright light coming streaming towards him, but then figures started appearing. A feeling of warmth and security came over m1G1.

His body felt extremely lite, he was no longer connected to any physical boundries! He was levitating through clouds. He could see sparrows chasing each others, tall oak trees growing out of nowhere, butterflies, beautiful aryan women with wings and smiles that would melt even the most infusible block of ice, exposing more of their bodies than most radical feminists would ever approve of.

'Is...is this heaven?' m1G1 said, beaming from ear to ear, completely caught up in a transport of ecstacy.

The moment was abruptly cancelled by a fat little angel boy with curly long hair.

'No you dork, this is the gatekeeper's playground' he said, glaring rudely at m1G1.

m1G1 was amazed by the little chubby angel boy, his cheeks were so big that they nearly covered his smug little eyes.

'The gatekeeper?' m1G1 replied, both confused and intrigued by his current situation.

The boy sighed deeply. 'Foreigners' he said in a demeaning tone.

'Oh great, a racist angel' M1g1 thought to himself.

The angel looked quizzically, almost as if he had read his mind. He then spoke.

'The gatekeeper is actually not too far from here, just fly down cloudy road 12 and you'll be there in no time...
Oh, and don't get all buddy buddy on me now, it's my job to guide people around here' The angel said, and frowned in hostility.

m1G1 had no intentions on going all buddy buddy on this little chubby bitch.

He must've been telling the truth, though. There were indeed signs indicating diffent roads among the clouds.

'Cloudy road 2...cloudy road 4.... cloudy road 58... cloudy road 'xaxaxaxa ))'... Funny, I guess they have roads for the Russian here as well' He thought.

'Ah there it is, Cloudy road 12'.

He flew past houses made out of cotton candy, and as he passed by beautiful women with halos above their heads opened windows to look curiously at him.

They giggled as he flew past. 'Perhaps I should've shaved' M1g1 thought to himself.

After a bit he got to a staircase made out of nicely shaped cloud blocks. M1g1 looked up.

The staircase was so high that m1G1 couldn't even see the end of it.

There was a small counter next to the first step, behind it was an old man wearing a NYC cap and a green bomber jacket.

There was a canvas standing on the table on which it said in red letters:

'Cloudy road 12, the home of the gatekeeper'

The old man in the cap spoke in a cracked and hispy voice:

'Herrow my child, how can I help you?'

To be continued.

[Lagoon]

best entry yet!

[Tanne]

those german parts made me laugh a lot. thx xD

[Bli5teR]

owned migi. xaxa

[cQ.eaZ]

Great, great and great. The best is where you create a perfect image of blister! Write more please, we need the entertainment!

[Little.Bug]

Im loving the subliminal message, to bad the ones they are directed at wont get em.

[Pun1sh9]

lol this is exciting xD
Damn xel- u have really alot of spare time, I am getting jealous...

[XeL]

lol this is exciting xD
Damn xel- u have really alot of spare time, I am getting jealous...

That was in the past ;_<

[Pun1sh9]

lol I thought this was a new thread going on and I had expectations from you since "to be continued", I just realized that this is 3 months old lol

anywhooooooooooooo u made me laugh, and thank you for that

[TREXW_ELA]

LoL, i tried to read that...But only to read the half of what you have written it took me hafl an hour... ^^ Someone let me know on a short way... :P